The tough path to goodness - Difficult being honest

Two events in my recent personal experience have shown how difficult it is to be honest about small things.

• Last friday while playing cricket I went in to bat when the team had lost a few wickets and nine runs were needed in some 15 odd balls. A ball on the legside took the thinnest of edges while I tried to glance it and the wicketkeeper took a clean catch. I should have walked but I hesitated. The wicketkeeper had not heard the nick and also the bowler did not appeal. Meanwhile the batsman at the non striker's end had taken a few steps down the pitch. The wicketkeeper saw this as a run out opportunity and threw the ball hard at the bowlers end. The fielders backing up were not prepared and the ball went for overthrows. After that we won easily. I know I should have walked but then nobody had appealed or noticed and if I had walked it would have become tough for the team to win. So I did not walk.
  

Did I cheat? I am not sure. I did not tell a lie, but I hid the truth. Is it the same?

• The again on friday I clicked on the notification on my desktop that said updates are ready to be uploaded. This is a second hand desktop and I had no idea that the operating system is not genuine. Since then I am being reminded time and again that I am working on a software that has failed the genuineness test.
  
• I have already decided that I will get rid of this desktop but does the fact that I have used it for the past several years make me a cheat?

Did I cheat? Have I been dishonest?

It is so confusing and difficult to decide.

I stumble on the path to goodness as I find how difficut it is to be honest. I gather myself and do the next best thing. I confess.

But is confession of dishonesty going to change the course of the events that are done and dusted.

It becomes complicated as I struggle with what I should do.

Help me.

DO YOU NEED TO CONFESS IF YOU START ON THE PATH OF HONESTY

Hello,

Being honest is not easy at all.

But confessions of dishonesty in the past is far more difficult.

If you start on the path of honesty late in life several people are likely to point fingers and say "what the hell, he had lied about so and so a few months ago" or "If he is so honest why does he not say that he had not been clean in his dealings in the past".

It will be likened to a cat becoming pious after it has feasted on 100 rats.

So how do we get rid of the baggage we carry.

Is a public confession the only way out?

Take the example of Mark Sanford. He cheated on his wife and then confessed on TV. They say he has committed political suicide. OK, so what at least he is making an effort to save his marriage and his wife appreciates the effort. And maybe this honesty will actually help him.

But he was the Governor of South Carolina and a front runner for the Republican Presidential nominations for 2012. He was cornered and if he had not confessed it would be dug out by the press that turns brutal in such matters. So in this case public confession was actually the only way out. Now if he is back into public life he can confidently say that he had been dishonest and has confessed. If he now takes the path of honesty he can save his marriage and then come back into the presidential race at a later date.

In contrast, if a layman like me decides to walk down the path of honesty what does he do with the old baggage he is carrying. I do not have access to TV and my confession would mean nothing to the TV viewers. But I have been dishonest in the past. So what do I do?

I choose the person, if any, who was hurt by my dishonesty and confess. I suppose this should suffice. Here is the guy who was hurt by my dishonesty and by confessing I give him a chance to forgive me and forget the past or punish me and get even. Once this is done I can start on the path of honesty I have now chosen.

In case I am scared of doing that I do the next best thing. I confess in front of God. I say it aloud and take it out of my system. I confess in front of the almighty that I had been dishonest. I beg forgiveness and start on the new path of honesty. The beauty of this option is that you are assured forgiveness and there is no one taking advantage of your confessions which can weaken your resolve to being a better human being. This would suffice as well.

There is no harm in the cat trying to turn pious after it has feasted on 100 rats.
Because now it chooses the difficult path. The path less trodden. The path to God.

Regards,
Manoj

CLOSER TO GOD

When you pray, pray as if you are seeing God.

For though you see Him not, He is seeing you."

Obviously, our worship will be at its best when performed with that feeling. Praying means striving for excellence in achieving piety, through an overwhelming feeling of closeness to God.

For anyone seeking spiritual purification, this is the goal.

But the joy of the person who says he has achieved closeness to God in his prayers is incomplete.
While it is great that he feel that way while praying, but, does he have the same feelings when he is dealing with others?

Does he feel closeness to God in his relations with spouse and children? In relations with friends and relatives? In all social relations?
Social relations and dealings with others is also a religious issue.
You must become a good human being before you can ever become close to God.

This message destroys a disastrous and tragic misconception that reduces Religion to only the performance of the ritual acts of worship---the pillars---thus robbing it of much of the rest of the building.
A very important and integral section of that building deals with our social relations. It is concerned with how we behave in the family. How we interact with relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and all the rest of humanity.
The cornerstone of every religious teaching states that we do not cause anyone any hurt through our words or actions.
A person who, through his intentional or careless actions or words inflicts unjustified pain on others is not worthy of being called close to God.

A small example of how not to hurt a person and still be honest to yourself:
Whenever you see someone commit a wrong that needed to be corrected in public for the education of others, you should mention it in general terms, not naming the person who did it. You have therefore not only overcome the temptation to compromise on the issue of right and wrong to avoid hurt feelings but also fought against the temptation to correct the wrong with total disregard to the fact that one might be insulting or injuring the other person.
While we may see these extreme attitudes in people who seem to be poles apart in terms of their practice of religion, both stem from the same narrow vision of religion that holds our dealings with others as worldly affairs, outside the realm of religion!

It is good to remember that rligion is a way of life. We must submit our whole life, not a small subset of our choosing, to the commands of our God.
Our commitment to religion must not only be life-long but also life-wide.