The tough path to goodness - Difficult being honest

Two events in my recent personal experience have shown how difficult it is to be honest about small things.

• Last friday while playing cricket I went in to bat when the team had lost a few wickets and nine runs were needed in some 15 odd balls. A ball on the legside took the thinnest of edges while I tried to glance it and the wicketkeeper took a clean catch. I should have walked but I hesitated. The wicketkeeper had not heard the nick and also the bowler did not appeal. Meanwhile the batsman at the non striker's end had taken a few steps down the pitch. The wicketkeeper saw this as a run out opportunity and threw the ball hard at the bowlers end. The fielders backing up were not prepared and the ball went for overthrows. After that we won easily. I know I should have walked but then nobody had appealed or noticed and if I had walked it would have become tough for the team to win. So I did not walk.
  

Did I cheat? I am not sure. I did not tell a lie, but I hid the truth. Is it the same?

• The again on friday I clicked on the notification on my desktop that said updates are ready to be uploaded. This is a second hand desktop and I had no idea that the operating system is not genuine. Since then I am being reminded time and again that I am working on a software that has failed the genuineness test.
  
• I have already decided that I will get rid of this desktop but does the fact that I have used it for the past several years make me a cheat?

Did I cheat? Have I been dishonest?

It is so confusing and difficult to decide.

I stumble on the path to goodness as I find how difficut it is to be honest. I gather myself and do the next best thing. I confess.

But is confession of dishonesty going to change the course of the events that are done and dusted.

It becomes complicated as I struggle with what I should do.

Help me.

Two Questions Test on God

An educated man also an atheist meets a pious man and they start discussing religion, god and faith.

The theist responds calmly to all his questions and seeing that he is heading nowhere the atheist decides to subject his debater to the two question test on the existence of God.

The questions were:

If god exists what is his form? and
What is fate?

The theist who had been calm till then rose from his seat, walked up to the questioner and slapped him hard.

Why? asked the questioner.

To give you an answer, replied the theist. Do you feel pain? he asked.

Yes.

What is the form? If you cannot give me the form of the pain how do you say that the pain exists. This is the answer to the first question.

Did you know that I would slap you? Did you dream yesterday that I would slap you? This is fate and this is the answer to your second question.

Too simplistic, my friends would say. But then I would answer "why should everything be defined by some complex formula."

Debate as the Test of Faith

“A debate would bring out the question of proof of God hence the taboo on discussing religious beliefs, that continues to be reinforced by all major and minor religions of the world.”

My friend Mohit writes in http://serialbus.wordpress.com ruing that Adi Shankaracharya lives no more and that there is no one to debate on the question “Does God really exist?”

Now because most ideas today are influenced by western thoughts and discussions, I would be considered out dated if I tell that in India the debate on the existence of God has been eternal. People in India continue to debate the existence of God in the same way as Quantum Physicist debate the cause of the Big Bang in the west.

But debates over God are not unique to India and Adi Shankaracharya.

William Lane Craig and Quentin Smith, qualified American academicians, debated on this issue as late as March 22, 1996 on the campus of Southern Methodist University.

It would be a personal judgment as to who won the debate but one thing that comes out clear is that if you do not accept that God is the cause of the Big Bang you do not have any other answer.
Just because God is not a formula does not by any means signify that he does not exist.

After all as science has all the answers let them come out with the mathematical formula that says “God does not exist”. Till then I would let common knowledge prevail.

DO YOU NEED TO CONFESS IF YOU START ON THE PATH OF HONESTY

Hello,

Being honest is not easy at all.

But confessions of dishonesty in the past is far more difficult.

If you start on the path of honesty late in life several people are likely to point fingers and say "what the hell, he had lied about so and so a few months ago" or "If he is so honest why does he not say that he had not been clean in his dealings in the past".

It will be likened to a cat becoming pious after it has feasted on 100 rats.

So how do we get rid of the baggage we carry.

Is a public confession the only way out?

Take the example of Mark Sanford. He cheated on his wife and then confessed on TV. They say he has committed political suicide. OK, so what at least he is making an effort to save his marriage and his wife appreciates the effort. And maybe this honesty will actually help him.

But he was the Governor of South Carolina and a front runner for the Republican Presidential nominations for 2012. He was cornered and if he had not confessed it would be dug out by the press that turns brutal in such matters. So in this case public confession was actually the only way out. Now if he is back into public life he can confidently say that he had been dishonest and has confessed. If he now takes the path of honesty he can save his marriage and then come back into the presidential race at a later date.

In contrast, if a layman like me decides to walk down the path of honesty what does he do with the old baggage he is carrying. I do not have access to TV and my confession would mean nothing to the TV viewers. But I have been dishonest in the past. So what do I do?

I choose the person, if any, who was hurt by my dishonesty and confess. I suppose this should suffice. Here is the guy who was hurt by my dishonesty and by confessing I give him a chance to forgive me and forget the past or punish me and get even. Once this is done I can start on the path of honesty I have now chosen.

In case I am scared of doing that I do the next best thing. I confess in front of God. I say it aloud and take it out of my system. I confess in front of the almighty that I had been dishonest. I beg forgiveness and start on the new path of honesty. The beauty of this option is that you are assured forgiveness and there is no one taking advantage of your confessions which can weaken your resolve to being a better human being. This would suffice as well.

There is no harm in the cat trying to turn pious after it has feasted on 100 rats.
Because now it chooses the difficult path. The path less trodden. The path to God.

Regards,
Manoj

Truth fears no questions

I earlier wrote how being honest and getting over the temptation to lie can go a long way in making you a good human.

But it is easier said than done.

* To start being honest we need to think honestly. Several times we decide on matters without giving it a thought. What you have no first hand knowledge about the matter we should not let it come out of our mouths.

* When we start being honest we should be honest about the smallest things. This is easy and helps you getting into the habit of being honest. Try to answer honestly when asked simple questions. I have seen people give dishonest answers to the most innocuous questions like "did you have your lunch". Now if you did not like it or did not get the time to have it where is the harm in saying "No". Why lie and feel guilty about such a small issue.

* Being honest at all times is not practical, some people say. No it is not "being honest" that is impractical but not being sensitive while being honest that is harmful. Honesty should be practiced in a way that it is not be misinterpreted as criticism or a lack of support.

* It's very tempting to tell a "white lie" when dealing with sensitive loved ones but you can still be honest by being creative in how you express the truth. Further, if you cannot be honest be quiet. Do not tell anything if you can do so but if pushed into a corner find out the best way to tell the truth. Wrap the potentially hurtful truth in appreciation, praise, and, if applicable, affection.

* One simple test while dealing with people is asking yourself the question "Would the listener feel bad if he came to know that i lied to him?" Most of the times the answer will be yes. If the answer is yes why lie. Still, if you cannot tell the truth do not say it at all.

Remember being honest is not easy.

* It makes you vulnerable.

* You open yourself to people,

* acknowledge your mistakes and

* give people a chance to criticize, reject and hurt you.

* And sometimes, the truth just hurts.

But also remember,

* honesty develops your character,

* It improves credibility and trust, and results in

* high self-esteem and healthy relationships.

Being honest is an ongoing process. You cannot be done with it in a day a two. It is not a task that forms your checklist. It is a challenge and success will bring long term benefits.

Nothing is as liberating as having nothing to hide. Truth fears no questions.

DOES GOD ACTUALLY EXIST

Many people question the existence of God, forgetting conveniently that they question their own existence with their doubts.
They ask whether one has seen God and if not then how can one believe in his existence they say.

There are others who are great believers but say that they are yet to see God. These people also forget that when they say that have not seen God they question their own existence.

God is present in every human being. He is omnipresent, he is form and he is formless.

Questioning the presence of God is like questioning the presence of feelings, the joy of triumph, the sorrow on the departure of a loved one, the love for your child, the empathy for a fellow being. This is God. Being Human and feeling Human is part of God.

Man can say he has not seen God only if he can confirm that he has not seen his feelings and if he says he has seen his feelings then he can never dispute the existence of God.

Next time a person asks you if you have seen God ask him in return if he has seen joy, sadness, love and empathy. If his answer is yes then your answer is not required.

CLOSER TO GOD

When you pray, pray as if you are seeing God.

For though you see Him not, He is seeing you."

Obviously, our worship will be at its best when performed with that feeling. Praying means striving for excellence in achieving piety, through an overwhelming feeling of closeness to God.

For anyone seeking spiritual purification, this is the goal.

But the joy of the person who says he has achieved closeness to God in his prayers is incomplete.
While it is great that he feel that way while praying, but, does he have the same feelings when he is dealing with others?

Does he feel closeness to God in his relations with spouse and children? In relations with friends and relatives? In all social relations?
Social relations and dealings with others is also a religious issue.
You must become a good human being before you can ever become close to God.

This message destroys a disastrous and tragic misconception that reduces Religion to only the performance of the ritual acts of worship---the pillars---thus robbing it of much of the rest of the building.
A very important and integral section of that building deals with our social relations. It is concerned with how we behave in the family. How we interact with relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and all the rest of humanity.
The cornerstone of every religious teaching states that we do not cause anyone any hurt through our words or actions.
A person who, through his intentional or careless actions or words inflicts unjustified pain on others is not worthy of being called close to God.

A small example of how not to hurt a person and still be honest to yourself:
Whenever you see someone commit a wrong that needed to be corrected in public for the education of others, you should mention it in general terms, not naming the person who did it. You have therefore not only overcome the temptation to compromise on the issue of right and wrong to avoid hurt feelings but also fought against the temptation to correct the wrong with total disregard to the fact that one might be insulting or injuring the other person.
While we may see these extreme attitudes in people who seem to be poles apart in terms of their practice of religion, both stem from the same narrow vision of religion that holds our dealings with others as worldly affairs, outside the realm of religion!

It is good to remember that rligion is a way of life. We must submit our whole life, not a small subset of our choosing, to the commands of our God.
Our commitment to religion must not only be life-long but also life-wide.

THE TRIPLE FILTER TEST - GOODNESS TO GODNESS

From Bapi Munshi

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, 'Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?'

'Wait a moment,' Socrates replied. 'Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test.'

'Triple filter?' asked the acquaintance. 'That's right,' Socrates continued. 'Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?'

'No,' the man said, 'actually I just heard about it.'

'All right,' said Socrates. 'So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?'

'No, on the contrary ....'. 'So,' Socrates continued, 'you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?'.

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued..' You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?'

'No, not really...'

'Well,' concluded Socrates, 'if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?'

The man was defeated and ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

ONE GOD

Hello,
Does it not seem strange that religions have so many things in common. If there were many Gods, as people sometimes fight about, why is it that Gods of different religion find ways to make the same place a holy spot.
Why does Jerusalem become the holy city of Muslims, Jews and Christians? Why does Abraham become Ibrahim?
It shows that there is a common thread somewhere. This common thread is One God - Humanity.
Best regards,
Manoj