How to say No and live with it

Hello,

As discussed in my previous post on the subject I will now list down the seven main ways people use to say 'No' when they are not ready to commit to your request for help.
It is also important to understand that whenever people approach you for help they already have the idea that they may hear a 'No' for the answer. It is not always a shock or a reason for grief if we say 'No'.

The 7 simple ways to say no. Use the method that best meets your needs in the situation.

1. “I am sorry but as my priorities are different right now I can’t commit to this.”

Most of the times we are actually busy doing something for ourself and if the request for help comes for doing something absolutely out of the way, e.g. if you are committed to staying indoors and the request is for some outdoor chore you can easily opt for this method of saying 'No' without hurting the person making the request.
2. “Can we talk about this later after I finish attending to something I am doing right now."

This way you can actually show that you empathize with the problem of the requester and would attend to it when you have time. Sometimes it is even better if you fix a time instead of saying later. The request gets held off temporarily, gets solved by itself during the cooling period or the requester finds someone else who can attend to his issue on immediate basis.

3. “It is so much up my street but..."

The requester feels that you really wanted to help. You show that you could have helped but due to reasons beyond control you can not.
4. “Give me some time, I’ll get back to you.”

With this 'Maybe' kind of reply the requester is pushed away for a while. This gives you time to think over and decide whether you have the time and inclination to help out.

5. “I’ll surely keep it in mind.”

This is once again not a direct 'No' but it is also not a 'yes'. The requester knows that you are not interested presently but there are chances you may get interested later. This works well with Sales people who will persist with a sale idea. This kind of reply helps you avoid an unneccesary purchase but does not break the relationship which can be used for later purchases.

6. “Have you asked X, I think he/she is the right person for this job?”

Once again you have not said 'No' outright but you have indicated that you do not feel you can contribute much and instead have offered an option that is more suitable. If your suggestion clicks and the person gets the help from the source you have identified for him/her you have earned their loyalty as well.
7. “Sorry but I have to say No.”

As stated in the beginning most people who ask for help are ready for this answer. In most case you may find out that you were just one of the option he/se had in mind when asking for help.
Once we have said 'No' we can devote time and energy to tasks we need to focus on and continue to maintain a harmonious relationship with the person who was asking for help.

Best regards,
Manoj