Honesty

Hi,

Honesty and the consequences keep haunting my thoughts. I have told several lies and on most occasions there has been no real need for such lies. So then why do I do it.

What makes one tell a lie/be dishonest:The genesis of any lie/ dishonest act can be found in the following three main issues

What is to be gained by telling the lie/ being dishonest.
What are the probability of getting caught while telling a lie/ being dishonest.
What are the consequences, the magnitude of the punishment if caught while telling a lie/ being dishonest.

'Gain'.
When we tell small lies like "Oh I was just going through the newspaper" when actually we are surfing the net. This lie is told just to create the impression that the news interests us more than surfing the net.
We believe that there is a 'gain' by creating this impression.

What if the plan is to cheat the Bank? The dishonesty will result in financial gain. Lots of money.

'Probability of getting caught'
The lie about the newspaper is easily said as the person on the phone has the least chance of catching me in the act of lying. The fact that we know that the listener has a small chance of catching on makes us succumb to the temptation of telling the lie.

The probability of getting caught while cheating the Bank is much higher as there are several checks and balances involved.

'Magnitude of punishment'
We tell the lie with the hope that the magnitude of punishment is tolerable. Suppose in the example we tell the lie about reading the newspaper and the listener actually lands up to take a look at the newspaper which I don't have. What happens. I just giggle out of it.

Prison is the least you have to be ready for when you get caught while cheating a Bank.

We have more liars about the newspaper than about the Bank. Why? The gains are much higher when we cheat the Bank, but we do not do that. There is hardly any gain (tangible) when we lie about the newspaper but we do it frequently.

So it is not the risk reward that makes us lie.

The factor that makes us lie/ be dishonest is manner in which the act of lying/ being dishonest might make us perceive ourselves.

Most of us feel that we are dishonest only while doing a certain set of things. A person who keeps taking back A4 size papers home from office does not consider himself dishonest but he would baulk at picking up a one rupee note lying on the table of his colleague. His perception being that the A4 paper theft is not really something he should be ashamed of. Another logic used would be "everybody does it". But the one rupee is cash and stealing it maybe taboo.

I know of a very honest person in my previous Bank who would refuse all kinds of gifts but would use the Bank money to sponsor his trips to temples spread all across the country. His perception being that gifts represent bribes whereas taking advantage of his position in the Bank to sponsor his temple trips was just a perk that came with the job.

Therefore, when we talk of controlling our desire to be dishonest we have change the way we perceive ourselves while telling a lie/ being dishonest.

We have to analyze every slip we make and feel sorry for having succumbed to the temptation of gain of any size.

When we start changing the way we perceive ourselves while doing the act we are on the road to honesty.

It is a long way off for me.

Best regards,
Manoj